Question: Where Do I come From?

Today I will be writing about a question, I almost face every day. A question to which, I could never give a perfect answer. Now, I believe that its not a perfect question either. Where are you from?/Where is my home? This is the question, seems to be the simplest question to answer. To me its very complicated. I do not have a single answer to this question. May be, I never understood, what does it mean? or What answer could do justice to the question?

If the person meant to ask me, where I was born and brought up? I would answer, Its truly India, I was born and got my education in India. My family and ancestry is in India. But then, now I am a US citizen living in here for last 13 years. So I am from India, I do not know.

If the person meant to ask me whats my current residence? So for last three years I have been living in Ames, Iowa. I have lived 6 years in Pennsylvania and 3.5 years in Minnesota. Among three states of USA, I have the fondest memories from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. So do I come from Philadelphia. I do not know.

If the person meant to ask where I would settle in my life  I do not know.

Life has not been a straight line for me, and I believe millions of people out there would agree with me.  We tend to define our own territory and try to do the same for others. In today's world, things have changed. I identify with all those who share multi cultural identities and do not wish to be confined with in the boundaries of a city, state, or a nation. The idea of home is very unique for me. To call a place my home I must have a sense of tranquility with the time and space. Above all, I really do not want my existence to be defined  by the accent I have, and by the color of my skin. My racial and ethnic identity is fluid and plural its not fixed and single.

Anupma

Society is the web of social relations.

Few days, I am thoughtful and pensive that I can not stop myself writing. Today is one such day. I remember the definition of Maciver and Page " Society is the web of social relations. And its always changing. " There are definitely complications involved. You may reduce it to a certain level if you establish a relationship with a little mindfulness and Here is my list of people, one should stay away.

1. Who only sees relationships in terms of Transactions:

One stays in the relationship, in lieu of what they can get, how can they win the situation, how can they influence the decision, and judge the persons and the results. The relationship seems to dim or die as soon as transactions stop happening. Everything opposite of this happens in a relational relationship.
Few examples such transactional relations in society, one invites friends to dinner, so that a) they will invite you back b) one sees a future event coming when they can seek favor c) one is expanding the network so that they can count on them in future. You help others so that a) you can boast about it in a social circle. b) you are seeing a clear link of this help to a future benefit. c) you can take similar or better favors in future. I would  stop here as you all might have a clear idea now what I am talking about. There are no much issues where both the parties involved, follow the same ideology. They can freely transact and will remain happy. This is applicable for those who are ready to offer help and support but not ready for unwanted, frequent, unnecessary transactions.

Having said that, I do not deny that all relationships in the world would involve some kind of give and take. But, the intention, approach, motivation and attitude should be different.
2. Who only talks about others:

People get pseudo-pleasure of talking about good and bad of other people in a social circle. If they talk good about someone, they wish to make you feel bad about the situation or wanting to create an unwanted moral pressure onto you. A big no should be shown to those who talks bad about others. Remember, they would do the same thing when in other circles about you. And always remind yourself to be as objective as you can when talking about a person or an event involving people.

3. Who  are not mentally compatible with you

I am telling you, its a complete waste of time and energy. Others might remind you that it is important to be having connections with everyone. Networking is a good way to conduct in a society. Come on, you do not need to. One should have few friends, in an interaction you should both feel good . You must not share  similar ideologies, but you must share a similar critical mindset, you must respect the difference in opinion, but the sensibility  and the understanding should be the same. We go through  with so much of stress and all types of problems in daily lives that we do not need another venue to invite unwanted problems.

My experiment with 'Truth" nope Lies

Recently, while driving back my almost five year son from school I asked him a question," Why do people lie?" Before writing his innocent answer, I would want to write the reason why after all I asked this silly question to him. Because I was struggling to find an answer and most importantly it was not just this 'why' which was boggling my mind rather I was more anxious to know as to how one should respond to a lie? Out of curiosity and also to inquire if my son has grown up enough to answer such abstract question I finally asked him. He replied," people lie so that they can watch TV." I got his answer, he was trying to say people lie to defend oneself. But  my mind does not stop thinking and the process continued. I am today going to write through my experiences with Lies.

Lies to defend oneself- commonest form of lie, nobody ever want to put in a calamity himself so till last moment one would like to get himself out of an unfavorable situation and the the best and most tested tool is to tell a lie and go ahead. A kid who does not want to eat his share of green vegetables would throw them in the trash and simply lie to his mom that he ate them all. Many of us do it more often then others. lieing about not receiveing the missed calll or a text msg, lieing about
types
our response
impact on relationship

Lies to defend others


Virtual Lies


Pathological Lies

What's our love

What's our love

An owl only comes out in dark

A camaleon camouflaging

A serpent who bit Adam and brought sin to this world

A firefly so insufficient with light

A rabbit with the cowards heart

Or

An avalanche white to be pure 

A water of the deepest ocean unadulterated 

A gush of wind unstoppable 

A polar star unchanged and fixed

 What's our love....

सत्यमेव जयते: एक उम्मीद???

 

इस कार्यक्रम के पहले एपिसोड के प्रसारण के बाद सोशल मीडिया खासकर ट्विट्टर और फेसबुक पर प्रशंसात्मक और आलोचनात्मक टिप्पणियों की बाढ़ सी आ गयी. दरअसल हमारे समय की सबसे बड़ी विडम्बना यही है कि हम हिन्दुस्तानी आदतन हमेशा एक  मसीहा की खोज में रहते हैं. वे जो इस कार्यक्रम की प्रशंसा करते नहीं अघा रहे हैं वो कहीं न कहीं ये उम्मीद भी लगा बैठे हैं कि आमिर खान ही वो मसीहा हैं जो हिंदुस्तान में होने वाली कन्या भ्रूण हत्यायों पर रोक लगा देंगे. वहीं आलोचना करने वाले इस बात को लेकर हल्ला मचा रहे हैं कि ऐसे कार्यकमो से सामाजिक कुरीतियां नहीं दूर होने वालीं.  दरअसल हमारे समाज में ऐसे ही extremist विचारधारा वाले लोगो की संख्या ज्यादा है, या तो हम अति आशावादी है या तो अति निराशावादी जबकि ये दोनो ही स्थितियां कोई दिशा नहीं देतीं. 

और इसी बात को आमिर ने अपने इस पूरे कार्यक्रम में सबसे खूबसूरती से कहा कि "उनके पास एक जादू की छड़ी है और वह जादू की छड़ी हम और आप है". आमिर के सारे प्रशंसक बजाय यह उम्मीद करने कि अब एक मसीहा आ गया है जो जो पूरे समाज से कन्या भ्रूण हत्या को मिटा देगा या फिर निराशावादी इस बात पर माथापच्ची करने कि इस कार्यक्रम से कुछ नहीं होने वाला, सिर्फ इस जादू की छड़ी वाली बात पर ध्यान दें कि कैसे वे खुद के स्तर पर, अपने परिवार में, अपने रिश्तेदारों में, और अगर हो सके तो अपने पड़ोस में लोगों की सोच बदल सकें तो यही एक बात बहुत बड़ा गुणात्मक परिवर्तन ला सकती है. याद करिए अभी पिछले ही साल इसी प्रकार के सामाजिक परिवर्तन की आशा हमने अन्ना के भ्रष्टाचार हटाओ आन्दोलन से की थी, अलग अलग शहरों में लोग मोमबत्तियां लेकर निकल पड़े और बहुतों ने अन्ना की  तुलना गाँधी से और उनके आन्दोलन की तुलना करनी आज़ादी के आन्दोलन से करनी शुरू कर दी और सोचा कि अब रातों रात देश से भ्रष्टाचार दूर हो जायेगा. और संदेहवादी/निराशावादी अपनी आदत के अनुरूप अन्ना और उसकी टीम के लोगों में मानवीय गलतियाँ ढूँढने लगे फिर धीरे-धीरे जो अन्ना को मसीहा समझ कर किसी चमत्कार की उम्मीद में थे उनका भी मोह जल्दी ही भंग हो गया.  दरअसल यहीं एक बड़ा ही सूक्ष्म परन्तु महत्त्वपूर्ण अंतर है जो सामाजिक आंदोलनों को अन्य आंदोलनों जैसे आज़ादी की लड़ाई से अलग करता है - जहाँ आज़ादी की लड़ाई में एक स्पष्ट और पूर्ण परिभाषित दुश्मन था जिससे लड़ाई लडनी थी, वहीं ऐसे सामाजिक आन्दोलन में दुश्मन कोई और नहीं बल्कि हम खुद होते होते हैं. खुद से लड़ाई लड़नी होती है, अगर भ्रष्टाचार मुद्दा है तो खुद को यह समझाना बड़ा मुश्किल होता है कि रिश्वत नहीं लेनी है, या फिर रिश्वत न देकर लाइन में लग कर कोई काम करवाना है. फिर जब लड़ाई खुद से है तो कोई मसीहा क्या कर सकता है? उससे आखिर सामाजिक परिवर्तन की भारी भरकम उम्मीद क्यों? जबकि परिवर्तन की कुंजी खुद हमारे पास है!     

कुछ लोग आमिर के इस कार्यक्रम की सार्थकता पर बहस न कर उनके छिपे हुए व्यावसायिक उद्देश्यों पर प्रश्न उठा रहे हैं. मुझे लगता है कि कहीं न कहीं समाजवाद के पुराने पड़ चुके चश्मे पहने तथाकथित भारतीय बुद्धिजीवी आज भी इस बात को स्वीकार नहीं कर पाते कि कोई पूजीवादी या धनी व्यक्ति भी सामाजिक हित में योगदान कर सकता है. साम्यवाद के प्रवर्तक, महान विचारक मार्क्स की विचारधारा को विश्व के सामने लाने में उनके अभिन्न मित्र Friedrich एंगेल्स  का आर्थिक योगदान किसी से छिपा नहीं है. अमेरिका जैसे पूंजी प्रधान समाज में सदियों से विश्व स्तरीय वैज्ञानिक और तकनीकी शोध कार्यक्रमों (जिससे न सिर्फ अमेरिका का बल्कि पूरे विश्व का भला होता है) के अलावा अनेक जन कल्याण (philanthropy) कार्यक्रमों को चलाने में  वहां के पूंजीपतियों और celebrities का योगदान हमेशा से बहुत महत्वपूर्ण रहा है. कुल मिलाकर यह एक अच्छी बात है कि किसी भारतीय सेलेब्रिटी ने पहली बार ऐसी सार्थक बहस छेड़ी है और अब जिम्मेदारी हमारे कन्धों पर है....

Happiness resides within you.

ये दावे छोड़ कर,

की मैं ये जानता हूँ,

मैं वो जानना चाहता हूँ,

मैंने ये किया है.

मुझे वो करना है ,

मैंने ये पाया है,

मुझे वो पाना है,

अगर,

ये सोच पाता,की 

तूं खुद क्या है,और 

क्या चाहता है,

तो जिंदगी की जिस छदम दौड़ का

हिस्सा बन तू  अव्वल आना चाहता हैं,

उसको हारने का  आनंद ले पाता.

Time

रात के २- ३ बज रहे है, नीद मनो आंख मिचोली खेल रही है . किसी की एक पंक्ति ही जो  दीमाग की  दीवारों  पे जोर जोर से प्रहार कर रही है , बहुत से सवाल पूछ  रही ही,और शायद इसलिए नींद आँख मिचोली खेल रही है. और ये पंक्ति क्या ही ये बताने की जिज्ञासा भी हो रही है. Time is the only perishable thing in this world so spend it wisely.मुझे लगता है मैं अपने समय  का सबसे सही उपयोग अभी कर रही हूँ. ऐसी एक नहीं हजारों पंक्तियों ने बचपन से लेकर आज तक नीदे उड़ाई है और जीवन के उन हजारों द्वारों को बंद किया ही जिनपे शायद गए होते तो जिंदगी खुच तो और होती मगर ये न होती जो आज है,अच्छे या बुरी से इतर.समय की बात हो रही है, हमने  तो गली के क्रिकेट मैच के समय पढाई पे समय लगाया, पारिवारिक और सामाजिक उत्सवों में भाग लेने के समय भी, पढाई में ही लगाया, अपनी भावनाओ को पूरा करने के समय, सामाजिकता और कर्त्तव्य पूरा करने में समय लगाया .दूसरो के हित में कार्य करने,दान करने और भलाई करने के समय, विलासिता में समय लगाया.आगे आने वाले जीवनकाल में भी इसी तरह  ही सदुपयोग करते रहेंगे समय का.मैथली शरण गुप्ता की एक पंक्ति याद आई है."यह जनम हुआ किस अर्थ अहो! समझो जिसमे यह व्यर्थ न हो.

Is Science a Curse or Boon?

Is Science a Curse or Boon?

I was in 7^th grade when I was asked in the English Language exam to write an essay on the topic. I was not sure what to write in it but somehow I managed it. The thing was over with the exams. I did not realize the significance of the topic and its effect on our lives. Life moves on and so do we with our daily toils. Recently the catastrophic, the epidemic and the biggest natural disaster on the earth, the tsunami in Japan and consequently the emission of radioactive rays from the nuclear reactors have made me think again on the almost forgotten topic of the 7^th grade English language exam, Is Science a Boon or Curse? My mind ponders and analyzes but still fails to come to a conclusion.

It was indeed the need for a country that is deprived of natural resources to have an alternative way to generate electric power. But when there is catastrophe like this destroys the humanity, then who will be held responsible for the holocaust. This is just an incident which has ignited this issue in my mind. When I look around, in every annals of life, we are trapped and if one brick slips the whole building will be demolished.

The world is changing so dramatically with the advancements of science and technology. Information Technology (IT) captures my mind the most, because it’s the technology we use the most in day to day life and affects the common man to the most. IT revolutionized the entire scenario. Mobile phones, BlackBerry’s, iPhones, iPads etc. are now the essential part of our lives. The invention was the need, the need to be connected, but, the economics involved with it, has made us addicted to it, to the extent that we don’t want to sleep alone. We are sleeping with the whole bunch of people in our contact list. This revolution has not only made us self occupied but also deleted every possibility of real social interaction. Now you will not be amazed and thrilled to meet a stranger at a book shop who is also looking for the same book you are ,with the advent of Kindle and Amazon.com.  Kindle is a machine, with which you can not only read thousands of e-books, but can click on a tab and get the information as how many people before you have highlighted a particular portion of that book. You will no longer enjoy the bond with you and your new book or the privilege to write a special feeling for your book on the first page.  You are just one amongst thousands of users of the book. Three out of five of us go to sleep with either iPhone, or some other kind of a Smartphone, TV, or Ipad. Are we really sleeping with our enemies? This revolution has undoubtedly bridged the gap between us, but also silently intruded our personal regime and has become the ruler or an arbitrator. It has always been difficult to discipline kids, to inculcate among them virtues like humility, compassion; and these days it’s the biggest task. On the one hand we tell our kids not to watch TV or any kind of screen for long, on the contrary kids see parents glued with one of these gadgets. Face book and twitter are our best friends and we confide on them. These social networking sites have enabled us to flaunt graciously. Good or bad I can’t comment.

 We are stuck in a situation where we can’t say no to the technologies and stop it completely; there are vested interests of people in it and to some extent partial good of everybody. Your attempt to limit and restrict its encroachment into your lives will leave you in an isolated island. And if you let it loose to spread his hand, it can create havoc. I believe this is destined for us who are born in the postmodern society, a world of simulated reality.

 With Best

Anupma

"नारी तुम केवल श्रद्धा हो"

नारी तुम केवल श्रद्धा हो!!!

In every era or historical period, in all languages, in all places women have always been tagged. Jaya Shankar Prasad, a famous hindi poet, describes women as "नारी तुम केवल श्रद्धा हो ” which means women are epitome of comapassion. The word ‘shraddha’ conveys several meanings compassion, grace, affection and humility. Shakespeare sees women frail {Frailty thy name is woman} and women are given the highest status by the Sanskrit writers,  यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते रमन्ते तत्र देवता: “ Gods reside there, where women are worshipped .Women have always been given different patterns by others as its rightly discussed by D.H Lawrence in his essay, “Give Her A Pattern” we always see in woman a perfect wife, a compassionate mother, giving sister, wild prostitute, a sophisticated secretarary but never  respected them as only woman. The condition is the same all over the world. In India specifically, Women have always been marginalized or in the word of Ania Loomba, “Doubly colonized”. In the Second Sex, Simon de Beauvoir writes that women are not born woman but they are made woman. The sentence is self explanatory. Women in India are raised in an environment where they are not made comfortable with their biological existence. There are several taboos related to different biological processes such as menstrual cycles. They feel ashamed of what is an indispensable and important part of their existence. As per a recent survey by world health organization, only 20% of women in India have access to clean sanitary napkins and 80% of women are using sand or ash in place. There is a taboo attached to the whole process, they live in isolation during this period. Girls don’t attend the schools because the administrators have never thought of providing closed toilets. The report is full of references of similar instances. What an irony! We bestow upon women the status of Goddess but subjugate them every now and then and ignore their presence. I would like to draw attention to all who are availing the luxuries of life, especially those who are placed in a position where they can influence the decision of policy makers to the plight of women in India. I consider any of the theories on women are unsubstantial before these core issues. Before placing women on high pedestal why can’t we simply accept and subsequently respect their existence.

On the contrary, I saw the representation of women as sex symbols or a commodity in the postmodern society. Movies are considered to be a lower form of literature when it comes to take references. But a movie like Social Network, which claims to be a real life story of Mike Zuckerberg can be taken as an example. This movie showcases women only as means to get earthly pleasures. The movie shows a detailed journey of a computer geek turning into a successful entrepreneur and several other young men like him getting engaged in meaningful endeavors, but never women. One of the scenes is good example of it, When Mike was hiring the interns for his ongoing project; the girl friends of Eduardo asked Mike, How can they be helpful in the process? Or can he hire them as intern? He with sarcasm says no, suggesting that they are not worth it. Also in the house of Shawn Parker, women are always shown either making sex or taking drugs. Males on the contrary busy in doing projects. All these male protagonists are real life characters and it’s a movie about their lives and if in a movie like this women are portrayed as pity brain less emotional fools what should we learn about the present situation. Is it a biased representation of women? Or that’s the reality.

There are women who are even not provided with basic necessities of life and there are women who are privileged but have been patronized as a commodity. The dichotomy of male and female still exists. Many among you would like to enumerate the names of women who have been successful in their lives but again the % is so low that it’s become negligible.

With Best

Anupma

जीवन

वह दिन था,
जब भावों से ओत- प्रोत
मेरा ह्रदय,
सम्प्रेअषित करता था
सही संवेदनाओं को.
वह दिन था,
जब मेरा कुत्ता मारा था,
तिन दिन तक
अन्न जल त्याग कर
मैंने विलाप किया था.
वह दिन था,
जब पडोसी के लड़की की विदाई थी ,
और दुल्हन से ज्यादा मुझे रुलाई
आई थी.
वह दिन था ,
जब प्रेम शब्द के सुनने  मात्र से ,

 सारा वातावरण अहलादित हो उठता था.
और ये आज है ,
की क्यों भाव हीन ,निर्मम और निष्ठुर मेरा हृदय  है,
शायद इसने  जिंदगियों के ढेर होते देखा है
हसीं  सपनो को चूर होते देखा है
घोर आस्था को मटिया मेट  होते देखा है
की आज भावनाएं बनावटी , मौत समाचार और  सच्चा प्यार किताबी प्रतीत होते है
करबद्ध  इश्वर के समक्ष खड़ी, अपने को  भावशून्य और उदासीन पाती हूँ ,

कल ऐसा था , आज ऐसा है , कल कैसा होगा,

कल मैं थी, आज मैं हूँ, या कल मैं होंगी,

वास्तव में कोई क्या  ये समझा भी पाया है

की बस ऐसे ही कल आज और कल में

जीता जाता है.

अनुपमा

Social Norms

पिचले तीन दशको में, भारतीय सामाजिक मूल्यों में भारी परिवर्तन दृष्टिगत है .और ये परिवर्तन सतत है. समाज के हर पक्ष से उदहारण  लिये जा सकते ही. शुरुआत करते ही हिंदी फिल्मों के गानों से ,हमारी उम्र के लोग ये तो जरूर कहते ही की , आज के संगीत में वो बात नहीं है, लेकिन बात ये ही कह देने से ख़तम नहीं हो जाती,हम यदि गौर करे, फिल्मे सदैव से समाज का दर्पण रही ही, मौजूदा समाज में "मुन्नी बदनाम हुई" और "शीला की जवानी" जैसे अश्लील गाने इस लिये लोकप्रिय हो रहे है,क्यूंकि हम इन्हें अश्लील कहने का सहस खोते जा रहे ही.आधुनिकरण के युग में  सब खुच चलता है के नाम पे खुच भी बर्दास्त करने को तैयार ही.न सिर्फ गाने दबंग जैसी निरथर्क फिल्मे बॉक्स ऑफिस में सुपरहिट है.

एक समय था जब सामजिक स्तरीकरण में उस वर्ग को ऊँचा स्थान  दिया जाता था जो इमानदारी, निष्ठां, प्रेम, सहयोग, और सहनशीलता जैसे मूल्यों के पालक एवं वाहक होते थे, आज हम उस वर्ग को सर पे बैठाये हुए ही जो दबंग है , तीस  मार खान है और मुन्नी को बदनाम करने की ताकत रखता है , जो जितना हि कला धन समेटे ही उसे उतना ही ऊँचा दर्जा प्राप्त है .मैं फिर येही कहूंगी की इन्हें ये दर्ज़ा देने वाले भी हम हैं, क्यूंकि हमे सच को सच कहने और सुनने का और झूठ को झूठ कहने और सुनने का साहस खो चुके हैं.

शिक्षा व्यवस्था का जिक्र किये बिना यह बहस पुरी न होगी. पिचले दिनों, मैंने कुछ शोध किये और ये पाया की भारत के गुडगाव के बहुत ही प्रतिष्ठित नुर्सेरी  स्कूल के दाखिले की लिए २ लाख /- डोनेशन तथा ५६ हज़ार रुपये फीस लगती है, लोग एस स्कूल में दाखिला पाने या न पाने को अपनी व्यक्तिगत प्रतिष्ठा से जोड़ते ही. मैं अच्छी सिक्षा के विरोध में नहीं हूँ किन्तु  ये अवश्य जानने की इक्षा रखती हूँ की २ लाख रुपये में,  भारतीयभूमि पे बनाये गए इन  विदेशी स्कूल में किस  विशेष प्रकार की शिक्षा बेचीं जा रही है. मैं अंत  इन्ही शब्दों से करूंगी, की ये आप ही और हम है जिनोहने  शिक्षा को प्राप्त करने में और खरीदने में भेद है इस विचार को स्वीकार करने का साहस  खो  दिया ही.

अनुपमा

Dis-located Identity

The issue of 'Indian-ness',' Identity' and 'The Lost Homes' have been widely discussed by the writers all over the world. As a literature student I studied some of the Diaspora literature. I had never realized that one day the saga of my own life might sound like one of these books. I always ponder over the inevitability of the fate of the immigrants.  Immigrants have been rearing up the same sensibility, why don't we have the courage to break the shackle. Is it that hard? Our predecessors must have tried hard, some might have gotten free.

I believe as long as we would continue to treat our present as foreign and past as home and lost, it won't be possible to Identify with the present, our identities would  always be dis-located, because, in 'foreign land' things always work differently. We are behaving adamantly in the present. Why do we always indulge in discussions as to what would have been the conditions in India when we had left it? We will be stepping into the world of artificial intelligence (machines) where territorial and cultural limitation won’t exist and should be prepared for the challenges of the world to come.

The displacements of people can be of different type, it could be forced migration, deportation, and voluntary emigration, emigration where we are the colonizers and where we are the colonized ones. Mine is the voluntary emigration, and, I am confined to that one only, as I won't be able to sense others. We crossed "Saat Samunder" to a make it an abode of our own. One should have the courage to accept the fact that we did it voluntarily. The feeling that we have committed a sin, in crossing the black ocean, should be undermined. Our soul should be purified and free of all the guilt. It is acceptable to some extent to bear the guilt by the parents who are the first to emigrate, but would be unacceptable if we hand it down to our off springs. They have only the present, unlike us; never should we try to create a "false past" for them. Neither they would be the archetype of our "golden past”, nor should we expect.

Sensibility is an unstable entity, which we create out of our believes, surroundings, sub-conscious mind, our hatred and love and we are not ready to give up throughout lives the sensibilities, constructed on such an ambiguous and instable base. This struggle between the 'Memory and Forgetting', that we experienced should be limited to ourselves only. Our identities are plural and let’s face it and face it with dignity, but this ambiguity should not permeate our future.

 With Love

Anupama

Note- In "we" I am always included.

Nimona/Pea Paste Curry (Remembering my Mother)

I was feeling little nostalgic on Sunday and was missing the winter time of  child hood. Whenever I go back down the memory line, and specially when its the winter time, there are few flashes from the sub-conscious which, start playing in my mind's media player. The most recurrent one is, my coming back from school, tired of riding my cycle, which used to be the  mode of commute to schools then, starved , leaving my school bag anywhere, and my mom ready with Nimona and Rice on the plate and feeding me with her hands. The taste used to get intensified the way my mom used to feed  big bites with her hands. This clip of my past keeps coming to the conscious mind . I can't relive the moment again as we have moved on in life. But I miss  my Mom every single moment of  life. I always try to imitate her ways in cooking. The recipe, I will be sharing today is Nimona/ Pea paste curry. I wish, I could be able to prepare it  the way she used to cook.  Hope you will enjoy it.Here is the link :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04xwqejd0kY

With Love
Anupama

Religion

It is and always has been a sensitive issue to discuss about. I will be super conscious while handling the subject. I would like to narrate a short real story first and would like to come to crux of this blog in the later half. Recently, some one very close from my family went through a crisis and was needing 2 units of blood. Because of her prolonged ailment, the situation had arrived in past too, so its the second time. I had never analysed or observed in past that donating blood in our societal norms, a not very happily welcomed event. When the need arrived for the first time, I felt it won't be a big problem, because, in my sub-conscious mind, I was visualizing figures of my near and dear ones and them accepting the offer readily.But It went the other way, the first to say no were the dearest ones, somehow we managed it. Recently the crisis emerged for the second time, everybody left it on us, as we are physically so distantly located from the real event, it was hard and frustrating for us. We were literally begging relatives for 2 units of blood. There were some genuine and some really fake excuses. Finally, my husband started writing to different Social Workers, based in Lucknow. I mocked at his venture, by saying that when our own people are not ready, who else would agree to it. But he wrote to almost 25-30 people. And finally only a Muslim doctor responded his mail with all his contact details and told us to contact him for blood donation. This man is no way related to us. He even does not belong to our religion. But he happily agreed to donate blood. We called him and expressed our gratitude. Now, the patient who seems to me a strict believer of her own religious beliefs, has the blood running in her veins of a Muslim.I won't go in details of it and leave the rest for us to question.
The story will not affect our lives but at least had given me a lot for introspection. I have a kid to raise in the society, where people are  hypocrites. Through the medium of this blog I wish to give him a value system in which I have faith. I have heard that immigrants here in USA send their kids to their specific religious schools other than their formal schools. These schools are generally for languages but in the name of language they preach religion to kids.It has become a fashion to send one's kids to one of these. One I know about is Swadhayay, where  they teach Hindi language.I completely agree to the fact that immigrants have fear of loosing their Identity and therefore they hold tight the threads of religion and language of their own. But I have always doubted this concept. I really wonder, is the sense of loss  so severe? that  we are ready to fill it with any kind of crap.For me, the Dharma is "धीयते इति धर्मः" its basically a  way of life which we adapt for living. For me the most powerful thing in the entire universe is " सद ज्ञान " or right knowledge. One can conquer everything by knowledge. After this little incident in my life, I have decided that I will not be sending my kid to any such school. I would prefer to impart  right knowledge about the religion, society, traditions and language.Because, all of my relatives and friends who did not agree to give blood fall under just one category, they do not belong to any cast creed or religion,they are basically, ignorants. It is just an incident, we find people behaving ignorantly in one or the other spheres of life.


Hope I was able to convey what I really wanted to. I would highly appreciate if you can comment on my decision.


Will be back
Anupma

Yes We Can

Life always brings about answers to one's doubts in such peculiar way. Same thing happened with me. I started doubting my capabilities of performing duties both in personal and professional sense.

 Recently, I issued a book for Advaya entitled, "Yes We Can", I read it to Advaya and as soon as I had finished the book, a kind of fresh smile was on my face and in a way I was being answered by life to all my foolish doubts. Yes , Now I consider them foolish. The story is about three friends, Kangaroo, Mouse and Duck. They were playing and while playing Kangaroo asked Duck," I know something you can't do.you can't jump over a big big log." Duck felt offended and said, "Yes I can."Duck tried as hard as she could, but little Duck can't do it." Other animals looking at the failure of Duck were laughing, even the  Mouse enjoyed Duck's falling. Duck was upset and said to Mouse,"I  know something you can't do. you can't float on a puddle." The Mouse also took it personally and said,"yes I can." Mouse also tried hard to float on the puddle but little mouse isn't really made for floating. Little Mouse came out of the water disappointed.and Kangaroo made fun of him. Little Mouse asked Kangaroo," Don't laugh at me , I know something you can't do. you can't catch catch your own tail." Kangaroo like others said, "Yes I can." Roo tried as hard as he could to catch his own tail but his tail would not be caught. Mouse and Duck laughed and laughed as Roo ran around in circles. All disappointed after the failures sat sadly.  Roo's mother came over and asked for the reasons for their disappointments. She answered, "No body likes to be laughed at.""Why don't you show each other what you can do?" said the the mother. kangaroo cried." I can jump over a big big log!'" The Roo did it. Every body appreciated his good jumping skills. then the Duck said, I can float on a puddle and she did it and others agreed. And the Mouse caught his own tail and Duck and Roo thought his tail-catching was the best they had ever seen. they all were really really happy on their success and the cried all together, "Yes We Can."

 With such a small story , life has made me understand that there are things which I can really do well. In life, most of the times, one is swayed away by the expectation of others, and  do as hard as one can do but, could not taste the fruit of success and is frustrated at the end of the day. I learnt the lesson and would always try to communicate this to my son as he will be stepping into a world more challenging and demanding than  we are in .

Thanks

Anupma

12/11/2010

I sometimes am amazed to see the ways of life. A moment you are sombre and gloomy another you are gay and jovial, at a moment you are ready to renounce the world considering it futile and, another you are ready to embrace it like a beloved. Isn't it amazing?I am little bit relaxed today, Advaya is having his afternoon nap and my husband has gone to a conference for the entire day. I really like to spend time with my self. I don't mean to say I don't like to be with others. No not at all I am a public person, I like to be in the midst of people. But I am very much disturbed when I really don't have my own little time .
Sitting on the sofa and watching Anjana and Anjani, didn't like it much so from there, the mind flies back to the memories of school days, the year I guess was  1996, when, I participated in the Miss St, Anthony's Convent competition and to be very precise,  to the the final question round. All my dear friends might also remember the event, I was asked ,"Who do you think is a better woman, one who goes out and earn money or the one who takes care of the household." my answer was kind of naive,I answered, "For me the woman ,who has equal control over the inside world and the outside world would be a better woman." I didn't realize the question asked at the age of 14-15 could possibly be the most essential question of the life to come. It is Indeed true. I lost the competition then by answering so, as was supposed to choose one between the two options.At that time I could not choose one and the dilemma continues at the age of I am not able to choose one over the other.
And undoubtedly, all women who happily choose one over the other, are women of great conviction.I really appreciate their decision.
Will be back.
Love to all....

Date 12/10/2010 Philadelphia PA USA

Dear Friends, I have been feeling strange for couple of days . I am not sure how would I be able to put it down in words. The most intricate and enigmatic affair in ones life is his/her  emotional state of mind and to express them is even harder task. As I have started this blog to communicate my mind and share it with my friends and also to get their experiences .
I toil hard everyday to get things done in my household, even then there are things every day which are not addressed or neglected. During the day, my mind is occupied with some or the other thing if I am cooking, my mind is with Advaya {my son}, When I am feeding him, my mind is in hurry of something may be doing the dishes. When I doing the dishes, my mind wants to run to TV. This dissociation with the work of mind, takes out the efficiency in me and which is a frustrating thing .Anyways, when I am almost done with all the work that I have designated my self in the span of one day, officially I am done for the day,I have nothing in my list to do and still have time, my mind doesn't want to take rest, it is still running here and there, I am not able to convince him that I have done every thing needed now I can do whatever I like. It does not listen to me at all. and then I sit in front of computer and kill my time watching things I really don't want to. Basically, I am in hurry of something, or I want to finish something which I am not able to do or may be not efficiently doing it. There is something wrong because even when I am sleeping my mind is not at rest .As a result when I get up in the morning I am not fresh ,I am  irritated and tired although I have been sleeping for 7-8 hours.
I believe I have lost the sync or may be something else. Its Important to give vent to my feelings. As we don't have much friends here, writing is the easiest ,the most non-bothering and the most refreshing, act for me .So here I am .Hope to hear from you.
Thanks